


Broken

by SkylarUnicorn



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: Depression, Guilt, M/M, Possibly Triggering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-09
Updated: 2014-11-09
Packaged: 2018-02-24 17:42:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2590463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkylarUnicorn/pseuds/SkylarUnicorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tommy feels really bad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken

**Author's Note:**

> No beta, so there are probably mistakes. Short, not extremely sophisticated language, but that's the way I wanted it to be.
> 
> WARNING: this is a bit dark, read at your own risk.

Tommy was sitting against the wall, looking out the window. He hasn't moved since Adam walked out if his apartment an hour earlier. They didn't have a fight, not really; Adam just couldn't take Tommy's complaining anymore. Which wasn't actually complaining, Tommy just didn't know a better word for it.

He knew it wasn't okay to put Adam through this, to come to him with every single problem. Adam had his own life after all, and even though they were boyfriends, there were things Tommy probably shouldn't share with him. But he couldn't help it, he felt so bad about himself and Adam had this magical ability to make him feel better.

Tommy was broken. He was a mess inside, and he hated himself for showing Adam that, but he wasn't strong enough to go through it on his own.

He wondered if everyone felt this way. He knew he should talk to a professional, but he didn't think he could just tell a stranger all about what he thought and how he felt. His mind was the most private part of him and he wasn't going to let some stranger dig in it and analyze him.

He knew what he was doing wasn't okay. But he couldn't help feeling like he needed attention, because when he got it, it felt like maybe he wasn't worthless, maybe someone wanted to know him, needed him. It really wasn't okay.

It wasn't like he never felt normal, he could still smile, he could laugh. But at the same time something was off.

He thought about hurting himself many times, but didn't do it for one reason: he couldn't do something like that to Adam. His boyfriend would blame himself for not being able to help him.

Adam had his own problems and Tommy never helped him solve them. He had been too occupied with himself, too busy wallowing in self-pity. He finally realized that now, when he could lose the most important person in his life.

He had never met someone equally amazing. The singer was so talented he had every reason to act like he was better than any other artist and people would still listen to his music. And yet he was the most kind, loving person in the universe.

He couldn't lose Adam. Just no. He was going to become a better boyfriend, the boyfriend Adam deserved. Maybe he would get a chance. Maybe Adam would forgive him. He was going to do his best to fix everything, if it wasn't too late.

 


End file.
